When I joined the army in 1962, they needed infantry cannon fodder for the
growing insurgency in Vietnam. Young and gung ho, I applied for every
specialized infantry program they offered and got what I most wanted – jump
school and ranger training. The military was so completely different
from anything I’d experienced, it bowled me over at first. Free
from the restraints of a conservative university, I was influenced by the wrong
people and swept away by women and liquor. I‘d grown up physically
but not mentally or emotionally. At twenty years old, I was six-feet,
180 pounds of solid muscle, a holy terror and willing to try anything.
- Sidney’s desire to become an airborne ranger may also be
linked to his childhood abandonment and abuse and demonstrated by behaviors
that can be symptoms of DESNOS. Exposing himself to the extreme emotional
and physical demands of this specialized training may comprise several
DESNOS symptoms: excessive risk taking, modulation of anger, revictimization,
victimizing others and self destructive behavior.